Tuesday, May 29, 2012

a little update.

''Do you have friends?'' This is the first question every doctors/psychologists asked me on our first meeting. i am proud to say that i have a bunch of good friends around me despite having social anxiety since young. i am thankful to all of them for being there for me up till today. Graduated last week.. looking back. i wouldnt be where i am without my friends and family.. and i mean it literally.. well anw.. this is not supposed to be a sentimental post.
been feeling really moody recently.. probably due to the weather.. and i got my enlistment letter already ! 31st Oct. i also got an offer from ntu. will be studying in ntu after army.. hopefully my passion for studying is still there after 2 years.. kinda look forward to it.. oh i mean army.. what saddens me is that everyone is like enlisting in june/july or august/sept.. and im left alone here. lol. hope i could get along with my bunk mates though..

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

nth to do here

this is the live performance of 'spit it out' which got me addicted to slipknot. lololol :)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Today, someone was pissed off with me becos i chose not to share this anxiety problem of mine.. i am sorry.. but i dont really like talkin about it.. i tweet, blogged about it.. but dont ask me to talk about it..
Once bitten, twice shy.. its just me..

Sunday, April 1, 2012

how's life? fools of april :)

April foooool
hows life? so another phase of life has gone by.. now im offically a graduate of singapore polytechnic.. i would say this 3 years is second to the most memorable period of my life.. the top one would be secondary school days of course.. till now i still couldnt believe what i have went through.. afterall im so proud of myself that i survived till today, looking back at those days when i was so ''unstable''.. even i myself cant figure if i could live till the very next day.. i have made it.. here i am blogging about my achievement. so i guess.. with each and every phase of our lives.. we meet new people.. all with their each and very own personalities.. which will determine who they mean to us in our lives.. still gotta say this old line.. so much has happened throughout this few years.. hmm .. be it emotional, monetary matters.. i guess i have somehow experienced an extreme part of it.. i am really grateful to those who have been by my side, the ones who really cared about what i was going through.. also not forgetting the ones who have left me helpless.. everyone i have met.. i am really grateful to u.. without you guys.. i wont be who i am today.

so it has been a month plus since me and winnie broke up.. to be truthful.. i didnt feel much when she left.. cos i figured she will definitely be able to find someone better.. and i felt that i need to sort out my thoughts.. i have to stop... whatever.. i just need to stop being unfair to her thats it ..

so........ just a few more months to ns.. gna start work next week.. im gonna focus my '' no life '' life on work..

Saturday, February 11, 2012

secondary 1-3 failed almost all subjects
sec 4, wake up call after first relationship break up. studied hard for o lvls.
my wish back then.. to get a diploma and get a stable job in the future..
poly year 1 & 2, social anxiety disorder, depression..
my wish back then.. to be able to live normally.. to make friends.. hope to live life happily.. no expectations.
poly year 3, anxiety under medication control..
my wish now.. to be rich.. to get into uni..
i am never contented.. i don understand why..

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


i need to get those thoughts out of my mind before i go suicidal. help me.